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Some little changes…

During that emotional week where I kept changing my mind about going to Taiwan for a solo trip, I finally did it on spur-of-the-moment. I booked my flight on the 7th April at night and flew at 8am on the 8th April. And because it was such a spontaneous trip, I was basically re-visiting some places that I had visited on my previous visits and chilling out most of the time where time was almost brought to a stop.

Through a birthday celebration at a local pub – Voice, I got to know some new friends there. The pub was small but amazing. People there are extremely friendly and guests are introduced to one another and everyone can chat and drink together. I would personally recommend anyone who is going to Taiwan, to at least go there once to try it out 😉

Like I mentioned in my Facebook – “Came a stranger and left with many friends.”
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Address: No. 55, Lane 223, Nanjing East Road, Section 3
中山區南京東路三段223巷55號

Directions: Nanjing East Road MRT station (behind Brass Monkey)

Phone: 2546-8527

Opening Hours: Mon-Sat noon-2pm, 5pm-1am; closed Sun

And the changes that I mentioned? After coming back from Taiwan, I realised that there are some changes within me which I am not sure if it is a short term change or a long one.

I suddenly fell in love with books again, within two days after my return, I bought 3 books to read and slowly forsaking the computer to bury my face in the books. Exercise was another change that I noticed. I started to exercise again after being away from it for a long time.

We shall see if this is going to be a permanent change 🙂

Emotional Resurrect

I just realized that I had actually linked this blog to my Facebook and that I had forgotten about this blog until I noticed it on my profile yesterday.

Sometimes, things would just happen for a reason. Many years back, I wrote a blog with numerous entries when I was going through a rough patch in life. Writing seem to have the effect of reducing some of these invisible burdens that had made me gone through those years with heavy footsteps. After those years, I started a few blogs mainly to record incidents in my life, be it minor or major. Today, I guess I am going to resurrect this blog with an emotional entry with the hopes that it would take off some load off my shoulders.

Warning – The below entry depicts a very raw side of me. Do not proceed further if you cannot handle knowing me in a different way.

For the past 7 days, my life has been nothing but mundane. I had just extracted 4 of my wisdom tooth last week and today is the 7th day of my hospital leave. Days was spent at home, suffering from the headaches and resting. Food was plain and the mode of consuming was just swallowing.

What stress could I have based on this 7 days, right? But somehow I feel emotional today. I feel lonely. I feel alone. I feel empty. Suddenly I thought of my ex. The time when she cut herself on her hands. She said she wanted to feel human again when I asked why does she have to cut herself? To feel human again? What is that suppose to mean? But today… I believe I can understand that meaning.

I would not cut myself, I would like to feel like a human again. The happy-go-lucky guy which everyone see, is actually feeling very empty inside. But who would know? Who would understand? I tried to be strong for myself. But no matter now strong one might be, there would be a day when he cannot handle the entire load that he is carrying. I feel I am on the verge of that.

I know what I should do to get myself out of this emotional state. I should join some interest group to divert my mind. Find some activities to occupy the mind so that it won’t think too much. Go out with people and talk to people.

I did. I told myself to be a YES man. I went out when my friend asked me out. I went to this art jamming located in Mandarin Gallery to relax my mind. I went for a photoshoot to relax and feel good about myself. But after each single activity, the sense of loneliness and emptiness would never fail to come back to me.

Perhaps I am yearning for that someone. Someone whom I can hold the hands when I am feeling weak. Someone to protect while I stay strong. Someone who I can relate to and to be the someone she can relate to. Is it because of the loneliness? Or is it because of the emptiness? I can’t understand myself. 

My First Singles’ Event

It all started with an email which I normally would delete without reading as I took it as some sort of spam mail.

However something in me made open up that email and it was about  Singles’ Event which a dating agency “LoveStruck” had organised. The concept was simple, no registration, no ice-breaking games, just a red straw.

A red straw?! How is that going to help to meet other singles, you ask? It’s very simple actually. As long as you are taking part in the event, just be seen with a red straw. It was interesting that I started gathering the Singles in my group, like Weiji, Sally and Wenjing and later joined by Alan (though not qualified to be single, haha) who wanted to chill out.

After reaching the venue, I seriously would want to kick my own arse for booking an indoor sitting area. The happening place was in the rooftop (It’s a rooftop bar), but I went to reserve a private sitting area. However a private sitting does have its advantages too, more cosy and cooling compared to the humid outdoors.

As usual, I went to start my own game with the rest – to walk around the area alone with a cup in hand and of course with the red straw. Winner turned out to be Wenjing who got approached several times. And as it was Sally’s birthday celebration, I sort of pulled a prank on her. I stacked 3 red straws on top of one another like one long antenna, which would allow an easy pick up line for guys to approach her. It didn’t work too well until I found her an Ice-Breaker, crews who are assigned to break ice for shy participants.

At the end, we did not found ourselves new partners but had a good time nevertheless. Ended the day with supper near Sim Lim Square area.

Now, stay tuned for the next post. There is going to be something juicy coming up for the next post… 😉

Randomness~

Once again, after updating a few posts on this newly created blog, I have failed to maintain it. However it is not because I am too busy or too lazy to update this, but because there is nothing exceptional to write when I am just shuffling between home and work.

But still, I hope to write something here whenever I could, whether it is happiness or sadness, because no matter what, it is afterall my… memories 🙂 I would really have to try to change my lifestyle so that it would be more interesting. 

I predict the latest I would update this blog would be on 2nd Aug since I would be going to this Singles event at Loof Rooftop Bar on 1st Aug. It should be pretty interesting. Keep a lookout for that post, ya? 🙂

Until then, I am still alive here! Keep coming back! 😀 

The lady in red…

I guess my life have been a bore recently and there was nothing spectacular that I could write over here.

If there’s of anything of note, it would be encountering a girl in red, with beautiful eyes and long hair on the train while travelling on the train earlier this week. We caught each other eyes a few times while glancing at each other and that was it. I could have hit myself for not taking any action. Perhaps I thought she was too young, perhaps I am just a chicken.

A friend who saw my Facebook status update about this encounter, left me this link to this video as below. It made me more depressed as I am someone who would not approach someone on the street to get to know her. Maybe I do not have the guts, it is not in my character or I do not know the tactics of such approach.

Loneliness…

It had been 10 days since the last update…

For the dating challenge, I must admit it is going to be an uphill project. To scout for some photographers is definitely not an easy task, for most photographers are only interested in hot babes.

Initially, the response by the photographers are quite encouraging with one or two photographers offering to help out, but just like a campfire in the forest, it slowly died off without much of a spark. But of course I am not going to give up. If I cannot find a photographer, I shall take myself. If I can’t find someone to design my website, I would design myself.

The bottom line is if I do not help myself, no one would help me.

However it appears that I am not too desperate yet. With the launch of Diablo, I have been playing it since its launch on the 15th May. Overstatement it might seem from the one sentence,  I must admit that I am not hooked on the game at all. It is just that the game have become a place for my lonely heart to loiter around in….

I shall update another day. For the heart is not the state to write a good blog post…..

 

Unique Thinking, Unique Solutions?

Many times, I have this feeling in me that people are thinking that I am one strange bloke with weird thinking. Yes, I may be different from others where the train of thoughts might often derail to somewhere else instead of the usual route.

And I believe this is what provide me with the determination to get something done at times too. For example, when I broke up with my second girlfriend, I thought of different ways to woo her back including the possibility of using social media to win her back. Most of my friends advised me to forget about her and move on while a handful supported me and one even assisted me in giving ideas and creating a site for this purpose which you can find here. Of course, the “Take Me Back” project didn’t work out in the end as I was concerned about the possibility of the huge publicity which could embarrass and overwhelm her, hence it died a natural death.

Thinking back, there was another time when I remained single for a close to a decade, while waiting for my first girlfriend to change her heart. It was so bad at that time that it seem like I would remain single for the rest of my life that one of my friends have to incite me to take some action for myself by challenging me to find Love.

For the brief duration whereby I tried to win that challenge, I created a Dating Blog with self-created artworks just to find that special one. But when my heart challenges my head, the Dating Blog too died a natural death as I do not want to search for Love just for the sake of winning a challenge.

But today, I do not have someone’s feeling to consider for nor a ethical decision about looking for love just to win a challenge. This is the time when I truly want to do something for myself, to find that special one by taking action and not simply waiting for Fate to knock on my door or Cupid to shoot that arrow at me.

Hence, I have decided to start another Dating Blog. The first step to build up an arsenal of photos which I can intergrate into a website which I would create later on and attract crowds to the site and share. If this works, this is going to be one new craze in the Internet – There are far too many lonely people in this planet.

Today, I have taken the first step, by posting in SnapClub looking for a photographer to take photographs (TFCD (Trade for CD) for me. We shall see where would this project bring me to…. 🙂